Make Something Vulnerable To Develop Trust

Many of us think of trust as something we hand out. We decide a person has earned it, grant it, and move on. We see trust as a verdict we deliver from a safe distance.

That is not what trust is. Trust comes from making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions, which means it is not a verdict at all. Trust emerges from authentic exposure. If nothing of yours is at stake, whatever you are doing, you are not trusting; you’re guarding.

Trust lands differently when you are the boss because you usually have more to protect.

Your standing.

Your reputation for having answers.

The quiet authority that comes from looking like you have it handled.

Those are real assets, and the instinct to guard them is natural. But what you are guarding is exactly what you have to risk for others to follow you with their whole selves.

For example, consider what it actually costs to say, out loud, that you got something wrong.

The reasons not to admit failure are understandable. You will look less certain. Someone may remember it in a performance conversation. Yet one person in our research on The Best Boss described their leader admitting an error, and the result wasn't diminished confidence. It was more respect.

That reaction is more common than our fear predicts.

Consider naming a concern explicitly and openly. Not the sanitized version with the reassuring bow on top, but the real one. For example, you can say, “This plan has a hole in it, and I do not yet know how to close it. Let’s figure it out together.”

With this statement, you've traded the appearance of certainty for the possibility of help. Many leaders will not make that trade, and so they get neither.

Notice what happens when you hold back. You develop less trust. Risking nothing will be seen as a gesture rather than an authentic action.

People are generally good at telling the difference. They can spot the leader who talks about openness while keeping every vulnerable thing carefully offstage. Unfortunately, they calibrate accordingly, giving back exactly as much as they are given.

When little vulnerability is shown, little trust develops.

When was the last time you put something of your own at risk in front of your team? When did you actually expose something you would have preferred to keep covered?

An unintended result.

A real concern.

Clear feedback.

If you can’t answer quickly, decide to make a change.

Pick something that you’ve been unwilling to do: the mistake you have been quietly managing around, or the concern you have been softening. Expose it to your team plainly this week, and watch what it buys you.

With that vulnerability, you’ll see your team’s trust in you grow.

And trust is the foundation of positive leadership.

Diane Scott, PCC & Aaron Bujnowski, DSc, are coauthors of The Best Boss Effect: How to Become the Positive Leader People Never Forget, which will be available in late 2026.